THE BIG C

Dearest Yamapi,

There are several things that one should never tell your mother.
No.1 THe Big 'C'.

Haizzzz why do I always end up telling her eveything that I did, including bad or naughty things??? T.T Im TOO honest for my own sake.
When I told her abt the big 'C', she almost fainted (exaggerating) just like last time when Jonathan Sia offered to send me home after a tiring day at the padang. (I was in Form 2 and he is Ting's bf at that time) Haizzzz.......what can i say? but pure stupidity to myself?



To other NEWS,

WE HAD A PIZZA PARTY TODAY AT SCHOOL!!! MUAhahahahahah!!! It was a reali cool and fun day at school! WE ordered from Pizza Hut and played cards and dare(generated from mira's PSP) hahahaha

AND AZIMAH is wonder woman!!! she DROVE to school with a cast on her left leg!!! SO AMAZING! and she only got her license two weeks ago! hahah but she's not so good at reversing the car so Rif got in to help her reverse and man.....he's a better driver than I am!!!! (he's a year younger than me) WAAAA!!!!! I was sitting on the front passenger seat by the way
.
Chris's poledance was epic~~~!!!! ;)

and Rif confessed!!! hahahahahahhaha well, I wish all the luck for him!! when the time came, he asked me to get mira away. I tried to but tat gurl is so KY!!! AAAARRRRGGGGG I tried to tell her to give the guy and Yau some privacy but no.. she had to run back to yau...Sceaming "YAU......!!!!!!" All the way.(In front of the library)

Haizzzz then suddenly shin mei the savior came and pulled mira away saying the obvious as its the only thing tat can get to her.....(shakes head)

U know....recently I started to feel that my dad doesnt like me....i know its stupid or ungrateful fr saying that but i just cant help it. When I asked my sister if she noticed tat nowadays dad is reali impatient when he brings us out to buy some grogeries. she said "no" with a reali surpirised look on her face. well, tat figures cause my sister is my dad's precious daughter. ( He loves her more than me, yea i admit it....im jealous as hell...) My dad's just reali distant more so nowadays I wonder why, when I tried to talk, he stays silent or only give a few comments. The only time when he would talk at length is when we are on the topic of "STUDIES" or "UNIVERSITY APPLICATION" its like a damn program or stg....cyborg with no compasssion..Im so sad and lost. I dunno wat to believe anymore.
PS: the B started a convo on msn himself.....its the first time in history ( Today must me my LUCKY or UNLUCKY day)

How many times can my heart break??

Dearest Yamapi,

I wonder how does ugly ppl ever find the destined person who loves them and cherishes them more than anything in the world??
Is such a love possible anyways in reality? Could they even hope or dream to meet someone like tat?? A love like in fushigi Yuugi or Inuyasha?? A love that can surpass time and grows stronger every passing moment every passing day......

Haizz god....help me, give me strength, give me faith to pull through coz i cant stand it anymore.....not being loved by someone......only being told by guys how they like other gurls I know, my frens or best frens in some cases....Im so sick of tat, so tired.....so sad, so heartbroken...



2 confessions, 2 rejections
1 that gave me flutters to my heart b4 i realised his true motives. in 18 months..... Men....they are more despicable than women. Hurting feelings of innocent gurls.......sniff sniff....


please, i plea.....please...... freeze this heart of mine. Let it be cold and emotionless until my destined person comes along to melt it...and set it beating again...with every beat, every breath, every thought to be for him and his for mine.......oh god....please hear my prayers...for i am heartbroken and depressed now. But i think this is physically and emotionally impossible because I am a person who thinks with my heart.....I tend to use my heart to feel and judge things....at the same time putting my heart out, exposing it to the cold harsh world....exposing my feelings to other ppl.

Im really tired now but i just have to tell you this Yamapi coz ur the only fren who would listen and not judge me by wat I am saying.

Its almost 1.30am now....

A levels exams in two weeks time.
Listening to :Bad Boys ( Alexandra Burke )
Break your Heart (Taio Cruz feat Ludacris)