Dearest Yamapi,
Have you ever liked anyone b4??? Have u ever wanted to get to know
somebody so badly....to want to know wat he/she likes to eat, wat
he does a home, wat music does he like listening to, wat he thinks
about when he is daydreaming or lying on the bed trying to fall
asleep, wats his favourite colour, shirt, sock.........
Have u ever wished for him/her to appear in front of u?? Wished
that u could 'accidentally bump into him when ever u round a
corner to the cake shop, when u go to school for an extra class
or dancing lesson, at a party, supermarket, library....anywhere.....
Have u ever imagined being with him/ her day and night...
talking about anything......under the starry night sky.....................................
I did. For years longer than i have realised.........
But i finally realised that I was being a fool all along..
.I was the joker in the kings court, I didnt mind it at all
to make a fool, a laughing stock out of myself just for the
sake of ur happiness....ur smile.....
I was being so kind to you...and so cruel to myself.
Slowly....my pride and confidence was washed away like the
grains of sand on the beach... into a sea of sadness,
confusion and pain...
U have brought me nothing but pain and shame...
.....tears of sadness............
...and countless times ....
a broken soul + heart.
But thank god I have finally realised... that I meant
nothing to u at all....I am just some one you wanted
to spend time with when u r all alone...Im only second best.
But Hell No Im gonna let u treat me like that anymore!!!
Im reborn and moving on with my life now....
Its time to let you go....to erase you from my heart....
this way i would be saving my heart + soul for some one
better who would appreciate me + love me for who i am.
Not treat me like a pet or somekind.
GOOd bye...
