Standing up for myself

Dearest Yamapi,

Something happened today that kept going through my mind. It's not that I am trying to rationalize my actions or to find reasons to justify my behaviour towards that lady today. It's just me trying to comprehend why I acted the way I did today. What was the reason for me to show an attitude for such a minor mishap. I was trying to understand from the point of view of a psychologist and my own sake, why I did what I did.

So what happened was that after an 6 hour Biology lab today. Shivani (my friend and now lab partner) and I decided to go have a slice of cake. (Actually it was me who suggested the idea because I have been craving cakes and chocolates for a while).

So we stopped by Broadway Cheesecake on the way back to our apartment (yes we live in the same building too!! haha!) and got to the task of deciding which yummy CAKe to get! The waitress behind the cake display counter amiably introduced each cake to us much like a sales lady promoting a bunch of fluffy bunnies......I WANT ALL OF THEM!!

So I've decided to get the chocolate cake because I can't stand the feeling of having too much cheese in my mouth. And Shivani decided to get a creme brulee. She paid and then sat down to wait for my turn to pay. I was standing rather absent-mindedly by the counter, staring at the TV screen. Then I saw the amount on the cash register and proceeded to handing over the $7 dollars in my hands to the lady.

Then, when I looked more closely at the amount displayed, I realized that she forgot to enter the 10% discount that every McGill student can get when eating at their store. So I asked, ohh  wait, isn't the total supposed to be $6.20 instead of $6.89? I'm a McGill student too, I added.
The lady apologized and proceeded to changing the order but wasn't successful so she asked her colleague how to change the order. They fumbled around, pressing different LCD touch screen orders on their cash register computer but couldn't rectify the problem. I suggested for them to maybe cancel the order and re-try it again. They said, no they can't do that. And the second lady said "Oh well, we can't change the price, maybe next time?"

Then, something happened inside me. I said "No. I won't buy this cake if there's no discount", and I placed the cake back on the counter. The second lady repeated my statement skeptically with emphasis on the 10% DISCOUNT?, accompanied with a noticeable enlarging of her eye and a raise in her left eyebrow to boot."No." I repeated firmly and stared back at her. "I won't get the cake if you can't give me the discount. I come here because I can get a discount. If not then I won't buy the cake."

Then they started taking the issue seriously and after some more harder pokes on the touchscreen accompanied by some swearing, they finally managed to convince the computer to accept the 10% discount and allowed me to pay the correct amount.

I took the cake and sat down close to the cash register. My friend was shocked at witnessing what happened. She said she never saw this side of me and was questioning her judgement of character...again. The side of me who had so much 'attitude'.
Honestly speaking, after hearing that, I started feeling slightly guilty and ashamed. I started thinking and pondering in my head, the many reasons of why I behaved the way I did.

And I finally realized after  4 hours of thinking...... that it wasn't just because of the money that I was really picky about, it was because they refused to correct their own mistake and as a result would put me at a disadvantage position (had to pay more than I had to) that made me angry and thus, acted the way I did. I demanded with my stubborn defiance and determination to be treated equally and justly. I refuse to be pacified by their skepticism and rose to defend my rights. I stood up for myself and there is no crime in that. Someone who had made a mistake should correct it and not leave it uncorrected and affect other people at their expense. To that reason, I would show no limit of amount of 'attitude', if it meant keeping my rights to being treated equally in this world.

And that is what I've learned from my mother--- the strongest and most noble mother anyone can have.