Coming out of the closet?

Dearest Yamapi,

It might have been happening for a while now and I have always suspected myself as one of those girls. And people around me has noticed it as well...some sharper than others but I guess even the dumbest of them all should have saw through me by now. But as long as I don't acknowledge it, it wouldn't be true. This part of me that I hate. This part of me that always causes me to feel ashamed of myself. The need to hide the truth from other people even the closest to me. Sometimes I feel like this part of me is faulty. Maybe I am missing an important component to the essential programming of my hormones or brains as to what is attractive and what is not. Its sad that this should happen, I mean, if they didn't exist then my life would have been a LOT more easier. Or should I say that I am not the one who is wrong here. Seeing as it is them who has denied the true calling of nature. I don't know why this is happening to me. But I guess there's a different beauty for everyone. And I might have to wait until I meet him...the real him.