Should I or Should I not.......

Dearest Yamapi,

They say time can heal...but my heart is still broken....
seeing him everyday just keeps re-opening the wound on my heart......
Its hopeless....i cant surpress the feelings that I have for him...
I think that I should tell him...but what use is tat?

What exactly could I get from doing that??
Me feeling relieved tat he finally knows the secret i've kept for so long.....
or me stripped of my pride.
..and being ridiculed at as revenge for the 'rejection' last time i imposed on him?.........

I didnt reject him.......those words just blurted out of my mouth....
I never had anyone confessing to me.....NEVER...
I was ugly and FAT. The last guy i had a crush on didnt even knew tat i existed.......

What shld i do yamapi???? Telll me.....Im confused........
I still care about him.....somehow...maybe not as deeply as b4...
.but his sadness still radiate thru and hit my heart like waves,
drowning all my intension of being oblivious to eveything abt him.....

He still talks to me tho...at times...he would come over,
sit down and talk to me....tats all i want from him...his company..
.Im content with tat, with spending my time with him...but sometimes..
.i just feel tat he likes to make me sad and break my heart, my pride in every way...
........I want to tell him how i feel but im afraid of being hurt.....
...im afraid of facing his eyes and cringe under his hatred..............
....wat shld i do?? Some one help me out.....

xcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxcxccxcxcxccxcxcxcxccxcxcxcxcxcxcxccxcxccxcxcxcxccxcxcx

And there's a VERY annoying stalker.............
..wat shld i do to shake him off..
ying said tat I shld just return those goddamn flowers back to him........
nothing received, nothing to give....capish....

2moro is mira's birthday....Time passes by so quickly............

I feel like the only way of solving this problem is to get a boyfren...
and then tat go forsaken STALKER would evaporate....
well i hope tat he'll be capable of doing that given tat he has so much extra body mass.....EURRGGGG